Monday, December 18, 2017

A class I had in college required us to take the Myers Briggs Type Assessment to see what our personality type was. It was rather brilliant, actually. The test requires you to answer an assortment of questions about yourself in different scenarios. Based off your answers, the test will categorize you into a personality type. My results told me that I was an ENFP: Extroversion, Intuition, Feeling, and Perception.

After we all took the test, the professor separated us into different corners of the room, depending on what our personality type was. It was then that the world made sense to me. My personality type was different than 98% of the people in the class. I remember standing in the corner alongside my fellow ENFP, and I instantly realized why we got along so well. In the same sense, I looked at the other side of the room to the ISTJ's and had a better understanding of why we might not have connected the same way with each other. What's funny, though, is that those are the people that I admired and who inspired me the most. Proof that opposites really do attract.

The class that I was taking was Individual in the Organization. The purpose of the exercise was to provide us, future leaders, with insight on how to effectively communicate and manage people within an organization. The class emphasized the importance of recognizing each person as an individual, and training us to be cognizant of that while being in leadership positions within a company.

I am sure that I am boring many of you by now, but I promise there is a reason for me telling this story. For many years, I have struggled to find my place in this world. While looking across the room at the people with personality types that were different than mine, I couldn't help but wish I was standing on the other side of the room with them. I wanted to be more logical, instead of being the free-spirited, emotional person that I am (A classic ENFP trait). It was then that my professor expressed that each personality type has a place in the world, and that each one of them is needed for very specific purposes.

I took that class almost two years ago, but I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. What makes me happy? What makes me unhappy? How can I use my strengths? How can I better my weaknesses?

I am a creative person at my core. I love to write, dance, paint, play my ukulele, and have emotional, deep connections with people; however, I have been living my life in a way that is not congruent with those things at all. I have not been using the talents that the Lord has given me. I have spent so much time trying to fit into a box that I will never fit into without being unhappy. I want to embrace who the Lord made me, and begin using the unique gifts that I have to glorify Him.

I challenge you to think about this. Did God give you the gift of loving to be around people? Then why, oh why, are you pursuing a job as an Accountant where you will be sitting behind a computer isolated from people all day? Do you like to be creative? Then why are you working a data entry job that is repetitive and has no place for creativity? Do you hate being around people? Then why are you working at Starbucks, being forced to talk to people all day?

It is important to play off our strengths, and to work on our weaknesses. The first step is to just simply be mindful of them.

If you find yourself in a rut, I would recommend reading the book Emotional Intelligence, as well as taking the MBTI (link below).


Five years ago.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

I have not blogged in ages. I have to say, though, that I am really excited to be back at it. I am about to graduate from college, and I am mentally preparing myself for all the extra time I will have. Going to school full time and working full time is no joke, my friends. I had this little blog several years ago, but I since deleted all the posts because it was so irreverent to my life now. It is amazing to see how much things change in just five short years. Big things. 

Let's take a second to see how much things have changed in this life of mine over five years, shall we? 

+Five years ago, I was never even considering going back to school, and now I will be graduating with my Bachelors in Business Management in a few short months(!!!). 

+Five years ago, I was still living with my dad. Now I am living on my own. 

+Five years ago, I was was working as an assistant. Now I am a Project Manager. 

+Five years ago, I had no idea what I wanted, and no direction in life. Now I have a pretty good idea.

+(Around) Five years ago, I decided to be a vegetarian. That lasted for a year in a half, now I eat meat. 

+Five years ago, I was driving a car that I was not sure would get me to my destination every day. Now, I have a reliable car, brand new car that I can rely on. 

+Five years ago, I was almost debt free. Now I have an abundance of student loans and other debt I wish I didn't have. On a side note, why in the world is college so expensive? I mean, really. It's insane. Right? 

A lot has happened in the past five years, but most of it has been really, really good. I listed out all of those things because I want to remember where I was and how far I have come.  You see, when one is about to turn thirty, a lot of thoughts start creeping their way into your little brain:

Have I done enough?
Am I where I should be?
What am I doing with my life? 
Am I weird because I am not married and don't have any kids yet?
Will I ever have kids? Do I even want kids?
Should I buy a house? Where do I want to buy a house?
Do I have enough money in my 401k?
Should I invest in an IRA?
Is this strand of hair blonde or grey? 

In case you were wondering, it was grey. Actually, more like stark white; it was horrifying. 

With thirty being around the corner, I have been reflecting a lot on my life. I have started wondering if I am where I should be at thirty. I expected myself to be more established than I am, but what does that even mean? I live on my own, I am completely self-sufficient, and I work in banking as a Project Manager. I have come so far in the past five years, yet I still feel like I haven't accomplished enough. 

I tend to set high expectations for myself, and sometimes those expectations are not necessarily realistic. I am trying to fit myself in this box of what I think thirty should look like, yet I am consistently being reminded that the Lord has me right where I am for a reason. It is so easy to get lured into playing the comparison game, and feel discouraged about where we are versus where we think we should be. 

I am not sure what my aim or goal is for this blog, but I am okay with that. It's fun for me, so I am just rollin' with it! 

Talk to you soon. 

Here's to spending the next 4 1/2 glorious months still being 29!

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