I've always been a Christian, and I've always felt like the Lord had a tight reign on me all growing up, but there came a time in my life when I realized that my heart had changed. I no longer wanted to live for myself, rather I wanted to live to bring glory to the Lord.
I began to understand His sovereignty, and understand that just because Romans 8:28 says that "He'll work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose" doesn't mean that it'll be our version of good--In fact, it might break our hearts and bring us pain.
But we know that God see's this for our good.
Maybe someday we'll understand why the Lord allowed certain things to happen in our lives that hurt and sting so badly, but rest assured, He see's this for your good.
My mom passed away March 15th 2008. It was sudden and it was so, so, so hard. When someone that close to you dies, you want to know where they're at, and you want to know for sure. This began a battle for me. I went through phases where I was completely content, knowing that my mother now rested with the King of Kings. But then there were times where I doubted and I wondered if Jesus was even real; if all this was real.
I was 19 when she died, and it wasn't until I was around 23 that I really started to see God for who He really is: loving, compassionate, full of grace and mercy, sovereign.
I began to have a desire to walk in obedience. A real desire.
I started realizing how sinful I was, and I started really understanding that this sin, well, it just doesn't work.
Sin doesn't work.
Around this time in my life is when I met my dear Rory. Rory was stable and solid in his faith. He set an example for me, and still does to this day. It took a few unhealthy relationships for me to find this one, but this one...it's here to stay.
This morning I started remembering where I was and where I'm at now. How much growth I've seen! The Lord is so faithful to complete the work He started.
The Lord has taken this heart of stone, and turned it into a heart of flesh.
I pray that each one of you reading my blog will be encouraged and know that God never stops growing us into who He has called us to be. When we fall down, He'll pick us right back up.